Five Reasons Alien: Covenant Is Bad And Should Feel Bad

Lemme just get this out of the way so you can decide it invalidates my opinion entirely. I liked Prometheus. I thought it was an enjoyable, pretty alright film. It was a lot better when there were more overt references to the Alien franchise, such as Shitty Scientist A turning into a pseudo-Xenomorph and jumping […]

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If I Have To Read About Bonobo Sex One More Time I Swear I Will Die.

  Why are we obsessed with monkey sex? Serious question. There has to be some sort of evolutionary precedent for this. I get it, okay? Bonobos have a lot of sex. It’s a defining characteristic of their socialization that sets them apart from their close geographic and genetic neighbors, the well-loved Common Chimpanzee (which, lest […]

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I Would Marry This Bat If I Could

Is there any animal so resplendently perfect as the vampire bat? Rhetorical question; the answer is obviously ‘no.’ Dogs are loyal, cats are sleek, and fish generally don’t bother anyone, but the vampire bat is a perfect creature. Never before have I seen such strong evidence for the Intelligent Design theory of life. It seems […]

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